All in the Mind
by PrehistoricCat
Summary: set three months after Connor and Abby return from the Cretaceous. Connor is heading towards a very dark place
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Not mine, no copyright intended**

**A/N: Just a little warning, there's some mild domestic violence in this fic, nothing graphic but its there and I know that may make uncomfortable reading for some. As always, comments and reviews are greatly appreciated.**

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Abby stroked the empty space next to her in the bed. It was cold; he had been gone some time. She rolled over, curled herself into a ball and gave a deep sigh, blinking back tears. This was becoming a regular occurrence these days - waking up to find Connor was already fully awake and had left her in bed alone.

It had been three months now since they had returned from their enforced exile in the Cretaceous. They had become very dependent on each other out there, and neither could bear to be separated from the other at first. If she couldn't see where Connor was, she became anxious. After a few weeks, they both began to relax a little - they were safe, they didn't have to look out for each other every waking moment. They had what could be called a 'healthy sex life' and were blissfully happy, until about a month ago. Connor had become obsessed with something that was occupying his mind most of the time, and Abby could feel him slowly drifting away from her.

She crawled out of bed and grabbed Connor's hooded top he'd left discarded on the bedroom floor. She pulled it around her; breathing in the scent that was Connor. She came out of the bedroom and padded sleepily across the hall towards the lounge. It was just as she expected; Connor was sat at the dining table, typing away furiously on his laptop.

"Morning, Connor." she said, kissing his cheek. There was barely a response from him. "How long have you been up?"

"Couple of hours." he muttered.

Abby sighed and went into the kitchen. "Coffee?" she called.

"No thanks."

This obsession was getting out of hand. Today was Saturday, and barring any anomaly alerts they were free to do as they liked. They used to head down to Camden market and browse the many colourful stalls, and then have a pub lunch before braving the supermarket crowds to do their weekly shopping. These last few weekends, Abby had ended up ordering the shopping online and sitting around the flat whilst Connor shut himself away with the computer. She had to put a stop to this now.

"I thought the agreement was that work stuff stayed up in your old room?" she said, coming out of the kitchen.

"It's not work." Connor replied.

"Oh, really?" Abby said, looking over his shoulder. "Is that why you're googling Philip Burton yet again?" Abby was annoyed.

"I can hardly do it at work, can I?" Connor snapped back. "Not when Jess keeps hacking into the ARC files. I've had to change the password 3 times this week."

Abby rolled her eyes and walked away. She knew she would end up strangling him if she didn't. "Jess needs access to the computer systems, Conn. It's her job." She tried to be calm. "And you're not going to find anything on Philip because there isn't anything. You have to start trusting people, Connor."

"I do trust people. I just don't trust these new people at the ARC. There has to be something here." Connor shut Abby out, focusing back on his laptop. Abby shook her head and disappeared into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

She stepped into the shower, allowing the warm water to flow over her naked body. She stood completely still with her eyes closed. She was worried about Connor. He wasn't sleeping well, spending most of the night tossing and turning. On the nights when he did eventually drift into a deeper sleep, he would have nightmares. He never spoke about them, just allowed Abby to hold him and comfort him until he went back to sleep. She would caress his clammy body and softly kiss his cheeks, whispering that she loved him and he was safe.

Now he had this paranoia that the new members of the ARC team couldn't be trusted and was determined to find something on one of them that he could go to Lester with. Abby had spent hours trying to make him see sense, and she'd even asked Becker to talk to him because he had already been working with Jess, Phillip and Matt for a year – but Connor just shut them both out and carried on. That was what was hurting the most; it felt like she was losing the Connor she had fallen in love with.

When she emerged from the bathroom, Connor was still glued to the computer screen. "Connor! I don't believe this! It's the weekend, our time together … remember?" she yelled.

"This is important, Abs." he replied, not even looking up.

"I thought our relationship was important too." Abby said. She slammed the bedroom door behind her, coming out a few minutes later fully dressed. "I'm not spending another weekend shut up in this flat whilst you waste your time on this crazy obsession of yours! I'm going out and I want all this stuff back where it should be when I get back, do you hear me?"

"Mm." Connor muttered.

Abby thought she was going to scream if she spent another minute with him. "See you later." She said angrily, grabbing her bag and car keys, and stormed out; slamming the front door just to make her point again. Hopefully, she had shocked Connor into realising what he was doing.

-o-

It was the first time Abby had been out alone since she'd been back. She used to enjoy being alone, but now she just felt lost. She knew deep down that Camden High Street was not the Cretaceous and that she wasn't going to be attacked by a Raptor, but she still felt on edge the whole time; looking over her shoulder constantly. She hated how she felt, she used to be strong and independent. She wished Connor was with her; holding her hand protectively as he had done whenever they moved away from their base camp. Connor made her feel safe.

She felt her eyes sting, and she blinked away the tears that were threatening to trickle down her cheeks. How would she cope if he drifted further away from her? She pulled her mobile from her pocket and went to dial his number but stopped. She had to give him some time alone too. Maybe the problem was that he felt crowded by her? Perhaps being together 24/7 was not healthy for their relationship and they should spend more time doing their own thing?

She took the tube and went into central London, trying to blend in with the crowds on Oxford street and Piccadily Circus. She stopped for a coffee at Starbucks; sitting at a table by the window and watching the world go by. Everyone seemed to be either part of a couple or a group, and it made Abby sad. She didn't even have any friends she could turn to now that Jenny and Sarah had left. Jess seemed a nice enough girl, but she was young and Abby didn't feel like she could connect to her. Wiping her eyes again, she made a decision; she would take up her yoga and kick boxing classes again. It would get her back into the social scene and give Connor his own space for a couple of hours.

Smiling, she made her way to the tube again and headed back to where she had parked her car. By now it was mid-afternoon, and she hoped Connor had done some thinking too. She'd decided to cook his favourite meal, and spend the evening curled up on the sofa talking things over.

She put her key in the lock and opened the front door. "Connor!" she called. Walking into the lounge, she noted that he had at least put the computer equipment away, but there was no sign of him. "Connor, you home?" No response.

Figuring he'd just gone out for some fresh air, she made a start on dinner. Feeling more positive than she had done for several weeks, she found herself singing along to the radio as she chopped vegetables. Rex circled above her head, looking for scraps and chattering excitedly when she passed him a piece of raw carrot.

But her positivity was short lived. Connor hadn't come home by the time dinner was ready, and he wasn't answering his phone. Abby waited and waited, growing more anxious as time passed. It wasn't like Connor to not let her know where he was and she thought about getting in the car to go looking for him. She fiddled with her car keys, debating whether she should go or not and then decided she should wait. He was a grown man after all, and things had been a bit strained between them this morning. She put the TV on, and settled onto the sofa to wait for him.

-o-

Abby woke when she heard Connor's key turn in the door lock. She sat up, rubbed her eyes and glanced at her watch – it was just after 2am. Connor had never been out this late during the three years they had lived together. "Where have you been, Connor? I've been calling you..."

"Out." he said, shortly, throwing his jacket onto the hook by the door. He went into the kitchen and Abby could hear him filling the kettle.

"I was worried about you." she said, standing in the doorway.

"Lost track of time, that's all." he muttered. Abby moved towards him; she wanted to hug him and feel his comforting arms around her, but as she did so she could smell the reason for his lateness.

"You've been drinking?"

"So what if I have?" he said angrily. "I went to see Duncan and we went out to the pub and then back to his place to play on the Xbox, not that it's any of your business!" he pushed past her and into the lounge.

Abby was relieved he'd been with Duncan at least, but angry with him for speaking to her in that tone. "Would have been nice if you'd at least let me know where you were."

"You're my girlfriend, Abby, not my mother!" he spat.

"Fine. Sorry for actually caring about you! I was scared something had happened to you." Abby yelled back. She saw Connor's face crumple and she thought he was going to cry. He moved towards her and placed his hand on her shoulder. She backed away, the smell of alcohol on his breath made her feel sick and he was swaying. It was obvious he'd had more than just a few drinks.

"What's wrong?" he said, "Why won't you let me touch you?"

"You're drunk." Abby said in disgust.

"Maybe I am! And who can blame me! You've done nothing but nag at me recently. It feels like I can't do anything right!" Connor pulled away from her and began to make his way up the stairs towards his old room.

"Where are you going, Connor?" Abby said.

"Bed." he said flatly. Abby watched him disappear into the room and slam the door. Tears flowed down her cheeks and she began to sob, making her way slowly to her room.

For the first time since before their time in the Cretaceous, they slept in separate rooms.

-o-

It was mid morning when Connor finally emerged from his bedroom. Abby had been awake for a couple of hours and had tried to take her mind off things by cleaning. Sid and Nancy had been particularly destructive overnight, shredding several magazines and newspapers. They wouldn't come near her when she fed them, and even Rex had seemed wary. She guessed they had picked up on her bad mood. Connor looked sheepish as he walked into the lounge, still wearing the clothes he had been in last night.

"Abs, I'm sorry." he said quietly. "I was a bit of a twat last night."

"Yeah, you were. I'm sorry too. Maybe I have been a bit of a nagging housewife lately." She smiled at him. "Come here."

Connor went over to Abby and wrapped his arms around her. "My mum always used to say that you should never let the sun set on an argument." he whispered, squeezing her tightly. "I was an idiot. I had too much to drink and ..."

"It's OK, Conn." Abby looked up at him and their lips met in a warm, soft kiss. "I missed you last night."

"Missed you too." Connor whispered. He kissed her again, a little deeper this time and Abby sighed. "If my head wasn't pounding so much I'd drag you back to bed right now!" he laughed, then winced – his head really hurt and his stomach lurched as if he was going to be sick.

Abby untangled herself from him, and disappeared into the kitchen. "You need some strong coffee, Connor." she called. As she waited for the kettle to boil she leaned against the work top and closed her eyes. This still didn't feel right to her, although she couldn't put her finger on what was wrong. Maybe once his hangover had cleared, she could persuade him to go out somewhere, just the two of them. She longed to be away from the city for a while – the one thing she missed about being in the Cretaceous was being so close to nature.

She took Connor his coffee and snuggled up to him on the sofa as he sipped it. "Thought we might go out for a drive somewhere later, the countryside perhaps." she said.

"Sounds good." he said, putting his arm around her. "You know what I'd really like to do though?"

"What?" Abby smiled and looked up at him. It was the first time in weeks she'd seen him smile properly and her heart skipped a beat. She adored the dimple that appeared on his left cheek when he smiled. His chocolate brown eyes were twinkling too; it was a look she recognised, a look that had made her fall in love with him in the first place.

"I'd like to climb a tree and make love, just like we did that first time when we were in the Cretaceous." he whispered, stroking her hair. Abby sighed, that sounded wonderful. Their first time together had been pretty intense and she'd been shocked at just how good Connor made her feel. "Do you think we'd get away with it here?"

Abby giggled, trying to picture Lester's face if they got arrested for having sex up a tree. "It'll be fun trying!" she replied.

Connor stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her up as well. "Let's go now, Abs!" he grinned. Abby felt her knees go weak and her heart pounding as she allowed Connor to practically drag her out of the front door.

-o-

An hour later, they were stood at the base of a carefully selected tree. Abby watched Connor scramble up like a monkey and thought back to a year ago. They often had to climb trees to escape from a creature and she'd had to help him climb even the smallest of trees because of his injured leg at first. He yelled at her to go ahead without him and save herself, but she had always refused; telling him she would never leave him no matter what. It was a promise she still intended to keep.

"I think this is fine, come on up, Abs!" Connor called down. She began her own slow but steady ascent, reaching for Connor's hand as he helped her over the last metre or so. She fell into his embrace and their lips met in a sweet¸ tender kiss.

Connor sighed and broke the kiss. "Tell me what to do, Abby. I just want to make you happy." he whispered.

Abby felt her stomach flip. He'd used those exact words that very first time. If this was the game he wanted to play, then she was more than happy to play along. "Just be yourself, Connor. That's all that matters." she whispered back.

"You're sure? You want me?"

"Yes, Connor. You. I want you to make love to me." Her body was crushed beneath his weight as they eased each other out of their jeans and underwear, and moments later their soft cries punctuated the natural sounds of the surrounding forest. It had been perfect that first time, and it was perfect now.

Neither wanted to move afterwards, and they stayed wrapped in each other's arms. A chill was beginning to fill the air and the late afternoon sunshine was disappearing as evening drew in. "I guess we should make a move." Connor finally said. Abby nodded reluctantly and they both slowly climbed down and headed to the path they'd walked along. They strolled, hand in hand, towards where the car was parked. Suddenly, there was a rustle beside them and Connor froze. "What was that, Abs?"

"Probably a rabbit." Abby said, squeezing his hand and pulling at him to carry on walking.

"It sounded too big to be a rabbit." he said. Abby noticed his eyes had changed. They were wide with fear.

"A deer then!" Abby said. She did think that maybe this was part of the game too, but she decided the look of terror on his face was genuine. He was truly scared that there was something in the forest that might harm them. He was now motioning for her to be quiet, and standing in front of her as if protecting her. "Connor, this is crazy. It's nothing..." she stopped and her jaw dropped open. Connor had reached into his back pocket and had pulled out a wooden knife-like tool. Abby recognised it instantly; he had carved it whilst they were in the Cretaceous and it was stained with the blood of the many creatures he had killed, skinned and gutted with it.

"Put that away, Connor! You can't go pulling a knife out like that in public!" she said, grabbing at his wrist. She wasn't entirely sure what happened next, but she remembered Connor yelling at her to get off him and his arm lashing out in anger at her. She lost her footing and fell backwards, hitting her head against a rock. She remembered looking up and seeing Connor standing over her, shaking. She hardly recognised him; the anger on his face terrified her and his eyes were wildly darting around. Had he just hit her deliberately? Surely not? Her head began to spin, and then she felt sick as everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Not mine, No copyright intended.**

**A/N: Thank you to those who have reviewed so far. I hope those that are reading but haven't commented are also enjoying it. Feedback is always welcome**

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Abby awoke in the middle of the night to find herself in bed and smelling of antiseptic – Connor must have cleaned her up and put her to bed whilst she was unconscious. She rolled over to look at him; he was sleeping with his back to her, curled into a tight ball. The more she thought about it, the more convinced she became that it had all been an accident; Connor would never deliberately hurt her. Still, his sudden mood swing scared her – one minute he'd been loving, sweet and gentle, the next he was angry and scared; spooked by something as harmless as a rabbit in the undergrowth of the forest.

He groaned in his sleep and his body began to twitch. She recognised it to mean he was having a bad dream yet again. Although he never talked about them, she suspected his nightmares were about things that had happened to him in the Cretaceous. She'd tried to get him to open up to her, but he always insisted that he was OK. As she'd done so many times before, she snuggled into him and wrapped her arm around him. She felt him relax and the groaning stopped. She was relieved; some nights he would thrash around wildly and break out into a sweat, and her head hurt too much to cope with that at the moment. She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to get back to sleep but her mind was too full of everything that had happened over the last couple of days. It was time, she decided, to try and persuade Connor to seek professional help.

-o-

Connor had already left the flat by the time she woke. He'd left a note on the kitchen worktop saying he wanted to go to the ARC early to catch up on a report he didn't get finished on Friday. She knew it was a lie; he hadn't mentioned anything about a report that she could recall. He was obviously avoiding her, probably a little embarrassed about yesterday. She had to talk to him; let him know that she didn't think it was his fault and then tackle the subject of going to see a doctor. That would have to wait though; she had other priorities at the moment –like how she was going to hide the massive bruise and cut on her forehead.

Looking in the bathroom mirror, she was thankful Connor had talked her into keeping her hair long. The fringe hid some of the injury, and make-up covered the worst of it. It was still pretty obvious that she'd had a bang to the head though, and she did half think about calling in sick. She decided against it; she had nothing to be ashamed of after all. If she kept a low profile for a couple of days, no-one would notice hopefully.

She hadn't bargained on the keen eyes of Captain Becker though. She had met him in the corridor on the way to her lab and he spotted it straight away. "Tough weekend eh, Abby?" he said.

"Something like that." she muttered, and tried to go around him.

"Looks pretty bad. What happened?" he said, looking concerned.

"I fell over when Connor and I were out walking yesterday, hit my head on a rock." she replied, not quite able to make eye contact. Becker stared at her, and she could tell he wasn't sure whether to believe her or not.

"Well, maybe you should just be on light duties today. I'll tell Matt. Can't be too careful with a head injury."

"If I didn't think I was up to the job, Becker, I wouldn't have come in. I'm fine, but thank you for your concern." She pushed past him and almost ran to get away from further questioning.

In the safety of her lab, Abby slumped into her chair and turned on her computer. She knew no-one would disturb her whilst she was in there; except Connor, so she could stay away from further prying. It was no-one else's business anyway. As she waited for her computer to start up, she gazed lazily out of the window. What she saw – or rather, didn't see – concerned her. She had deliberately moved her desk to this spot because she could see Connor's desk and the ADD, and liked to watch him work. He wasn't at his desk, and he wasn't at the ADD – so where was he? She stood up and strained to see more of the main office below, just in case he was over talking to Jess or one of the other techies. She could see Jess, but no Connor.

Abby dialled Jess's extension. "Hey, Jess. Have you seen Connor today?"

"Yeah, he was in early but he went out about an hour ago. He said something about the cemetery."

"Thanks." Abby put the phone down. The cemetery? Why would Connor go there? They hadn't been there since... Ah. It dawned on her where he would be. She had to go to him.

-o-

It didn't take long to find him, he was exactly where she thought he'd be. He was kneeling on the grass next to a headstone, and although he had his back to her she knew he was crying. She knelt beside him, placing her hand on his shoulder. He practically leapt out of his skin.

"Abby! You could have warned me you..." he took a deep breath and angrily wiped the tears from his face.

"Sorry. I had a feeling you'd be here." she said softly, stroking his arm. He dropped his head.

"I needed to talk to someone, and Cutter's the only one I could think of." he whispered.

"You could have talked to me."

"I didn't think you'd want to. I hurt you." His face was screwed up and he was blinking rapidly, trying to fight back more tears. Abby wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her chest, stroking his hair.

"It was an accident, Connor. If I thought for one moment you deliberately hit me, I'd have kicked your ass into next week." He let out a small laugh, and returned her hug. They sat, just holding each other, for several minutes. "Did Cutter give you any answers?" she finally said.

Connor pulled away and looked at Abby. "I'm scared. I don't know what came over me yesterday. Sometimes it feels like I'm someone else."

Abby squeezed his hand. "Maybe it's time you talked to someone; properly I mean. Someone who can help you."

"A doctor you mean? Abby, where am I going to find a doctor I can actually talk about all this stuff to? We're not allowed to mention any of it outside the ARC; and if I did, the doctor would have me carted off by the men in white coats!" Connor wiped a stray tear from his cheek.

Abby realised Connor had a point. "Maybe Lester could arrange..."

"No, Abby! If Lester thought I wasn't coping with the job any more, he'd get rid of me. He's just waiting for an excuse." He strolled over to a bench not far from the grave and sat down. Abby followed and sat next to him, holding his hand. "I thought that trying to remember the good things would erase the bad memories." he sighed.

"Is that what yesterday was about?"

Connor nodded. "It just made things worse though. If I could just stop the nightmares..." he leaned forward and buried his face in his hands. Abby felt completely useless. This was more than just a few nightmares, but if Connor wasn't willing to accept professional help there was little she could do. She just had to be there for him; comforting, supporting and loving him.

-o-

The days that followed passed relatively quietly. Connor barely slept more than three hours a night, making him even more irritable than usual. He lost his temper at the slightest thing, with Abby baring the brunt of most of it. She gave him back as good as she got though, and the doors of the flat were constantly being slammed. She tried to stay calm; Connor was clearly not well, but she wasn't sure how much more she could take.

She managed to stay out of his way at work on the whole, but she knew he was ruffling feathers. She overheard Jess telling Matt that Connor had yelled at her.

"I think it's time I had words with him." Matt said. "I've been sympathetic long enough. He can't carry on being abusive to everyone!"

"Please, Matt. Don't be too hard on him." Abby pleaded. "He's not sleeping, that's all. He keeps having nightmares and..."

"Abby, I understand what you're saying and I do feel sorry for him. What you two went through is unimaginable – but I have to look after all the staff." Matt left to go and look for Connor. Jess turned to Abby.

"I'm sorry, I wouldn't have said anything if I thought he'd get into trouble. I was just sounding off."

"It's OK, Jess. Maybe this is what he needs to make him realise he has to do something. He won't talk to me." Abby sighed. It was the one thing Connor was worried about; losing his job. If he thought it was under threat, maybe he'd give in and start opening up. Jess made her a coffee and the two women sat in silence for a few minutes. Suddenly, there was a commotion from the main room, and they both ran out onto the walkway.

Connor was stomping around, yelling abuse at Matt. He obviously hadn't liked being called on his behaviour. Abby ran down the stairs towards him. "Connor! Stop this!" she yelled.

"Stay out of this, Abby! It's got nothing to do with you." he yelled back. She tried to put her arms around him, but he pushed her away. For a second, she was back in the forest the day she had hit her head – the same look of anger was evident in Connor's face. She backed away, and left Matt to deal with him.

"Temple! My office, now!" Lester's voice boomed out across the ARC. Everyone froze and stared at Connor. They expected him to sheepishly make his way up the stairs towards Lester's office, but he didn't. Instead, he squared up and looked up at Lester defiantly.

"Fuck you!" Connor yelled.

Lester's face was like thunder. "Go home, Temple. As of this minute, you are suspended. When you have calmed down enough to apologise to me and your colleagues, you can rejoin the team. Until you do that, you are not welcome in the ARC."

Connor's face crumpled, and Abby could almost hear his heart breaking.

"Captain Becker, could you escort Mr Temple from the premises please? Miss Maitland, Anderson, can I have a word please?" Lester said, and disappeared back into his office without waiting for a response.

Abby watched Becker move towards Connor. "Come on mate." he said, placing his hand on the small of Connor's back.

"I'm not your mate," Connor snapped. "And I don't need a babysitter, thank you. I'm more than capable of finding my own way out." He strode out down the corridor towards the exit, followed closely by Becker. Abby desperately wanted to go after him, but Lester was waiting for her.

-o-

"Abby, sit down. We need to talk about Connor." Lester said as she came in. His face and voice had softened considerably. She sat down opposite Lester and glanced at Matt. "I've been concerned about Connor's behaviour for a little while now, as have Captain Becker and Matt. Becker also expressed a concern for your welfare."

"My welfare?" Abby said.

Lester indicated the bruise on her forehead. "Becker thought that perhaps Connor had ... he wondered if the aggression Connor is displaying at work was manifesting itself at home."

"I explained what happened. It was an accident. Connor would never hurt me. I just think he's ... struggling with a few bad memories."

Matt cleared his throat. "I'm no expert, but I have seen behaviour like this before. Soldiers returning from the Gulf war. They call it Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

Abby had heard of that; it made sense. "You think that's what's wrong with Connor?"

Matt nodded. "Like I said, I'm not an expert."

"I think we can rule out a physical medical condition." Lester said. "The pair of you undergo extensive testing regularly, and if he was being affected by some kind of parasite or pathogen it would have shown up on his blood tests.

Abby nodded. She hated the fact they both still had to have a weekly blood test and medical exam, even three months after their return. "This Post Traumatic syndrome thing, it's treatable right? They can make him better can't they?"

"Oh yes, but that's where the issue is. The treatment involves counselling, and a lot of what Connor needs to get out is classified information." Matt said.

"I know. I've spoken to the Minister, and he is trying to find a psychologist that the government trusts. We'd have to explain a few things to him or her before they saw Connor of course." Lester said.

"What if Connor won't accept help?" Abby said.

"There are ways and means, Abby." Lester replied. Abby didn't know what he meant by that, but she didn't like the sound of it. She was about to ask him when the door was flung open. It was one of the computer technicians.

"Abby! You have to come, it's Connor! He won't listen to anyone else and he's got a knife!"

-o-

Connor was stood by the ADD; his knife in his left hand and what appeared to be a baseball bat in his right. "Conn, what's all this about? Put those down and come into my lab for a chat eh?" Abby said softly. She could see a red spot of light on Connor's forehead – someone was aiming a laser guided sight on him. "Becker, tell your men to back off!" she snapped. "Let me handle this." She saw Becker nod and the light disappeared, but his own fingers remained curled around the trigger of his rifle.

"Don't try to stop me, Abby!" Connor said. He was shaking, his face twisting from anger to fear. He swung the baseball bat, smashing the screen on the ADD.

"Connor!" Abby yelled. "What are you doing?" she was aware of several soldiers surrounding them and shot Becker a look.

"I can't do this any more! If we'd never come across the anomalies, we wouldn't have spent a year in hell!" He took another swing at the ADD, but missed. Abby moved forward and tried to grab the bat, but he pointed the knife at her. "I don't want to hurt you, Abby." He said, tears streaming down his face.

"It's OK, Connor." Abby said softly. "No-one wants to hurt you either. We just want to help. Put the weapons down and we can..."

"Nooooo!" Connor yelled. He began swinging wildly at everything close by; chairs went crashing, two computer screens were smashed and then he moved towards Abby. She heard the clicks of several guns and she knew she had to do something before the soldiers shot him. It went against all her instincts; Connor was the last person she wanted to hurt, but she had to. She took a deep breath and aimed a scissor kick straight at Connor, sending him crashing to the ground. She was on him straight away, straddling his chest and pinning his arms down with her knees. Connor struggled beneath her, yelling for her to let him go.

"I'm sorry Connor. I love you, but this can't go on." she sobbed. Becker was handcuffing Connor's wrists and she got off him.

"I hate you!" Connor yelled, as Becker and another soldier dragged him away towards one of the holding cells. Abby sobbed hard, as Jess came over and put her arms around her. Despite the fact she knew Connor was not himself; his words stung, and cut through her heart like a knife.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Not mine, no copyright intended**

**A/N: Thank you to the reviewers and those adding to their favourites and alerts... I hope you're not disappointed in this next installment. The muse is feeling a bit tired at the moment, and this fic is hitting a bit closer to home than I thought it would... The next update may take a little longer than usual for me as I'm going to take a few days break to recharge. Reviews are, as always, welcomed and loved. Thanks!**

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Abby sat in Lester's office, watching Connor on the CCTV. He'd been placed in one of the cells at the ARC whilst they waited for a doctor from the Home Office to arrive. Under Lester's instructions, Becker had removed everything from Connor's pockets, his belt and even his scarf – anything he could use to either harm himself or others. He was sat curled up on the bench at the far corner of the cell, occasionally sitting up and banging his fists against the wall. There was no sound on the video, but Abby could tell that he was shouting her name. At least Becker had removed his handcuffs.

Jess brought her a coffee and opened her mouth to say something, but then she changed her mind. Abby just nodded gratefully then turned back to the screen. She didn't even attempt to wipe the tears that were trickling down her cheeks.

"The Minister has found a doctor he says we can trust." Lester said, coming into the office. "He's dealt with Special Forces returning from secret missions in Afghanistan, and he's one of the best. He can be here in the morning."

"The morning? So what happens in the mean time? We can't just leave him in there!" Abby said.

"I know. I've made arrangements for him to be taken to a private hospital. They're willing to treat him overnight. He needs sedation, and as little stimulation as possible. There's an ambulance on its way now." Lester replied.

Abby stood up. "I'll go home and make him up a bag of toiletries and things. I can stay with him overnight until this Home Office doctor arrives."

"I'm not sure if that is a good idea. They said as little stimulation as possible. Your presence could do more harm than good. You're the focus of his anger right now."

Abby looked again at the screen. Was he calling her because he wanted her to go to him, or was he calling her name in frustration and anger? She was confused, and Connor's words still stung when she thought of them – did he really hate her because she'd stopped him from destroying the ADD completely?

"Lester's right, Abby." Jess said. "He seems pretty angry with the whole world at the moment."

"He shouldn't be alone at a time like this." Abby said. "Look at him, Jess!" Jess stroked Abby's shoulder. "I should be with him." She tried to stand up, but Lester told her to sit down.

Lester's phone rang; it was security telling him the ambulance had arrived. "Escort the medical team straight to the cell, I'll be down there to meet them." He put the phone down and headed towards the door.

"I'm coming with you." Abby said, "You can't stop me from at least saying goodnight to him."

Lester sighed, and silently conceded. He indicated for her to go ahead of him.

-o-

"It's much better for all concerned if he comes with us of his own free will." One of the medics said. He was stood in the open doorway of the cell with Abby and Lester, watching his two colleagues talking to Connor. Abby could tell from Connor's body language that he wasn't happy.

"What if he won't go with you?" Abby said.

"He can be sectioned under the mental health act, under the authorisation of a close relative, and then these gentlemen can take him by force if necessary." Lester's face remained almost emotionless and Abby wondered if he actually had a heart.

"Connor's only relative is his mum, and she's..."

"I am aware of that, Abby." Lester said. "I checked the legalities with the Minister, and it can be authorised by a civil partner or someone that lives with him. That would mean you."

Abby bit her bottom lip and glanced over at Connor again. She hoped he would take the decision out of her hands; she already felt at odds with having to use force to stop him earlier.

"Sectioning is a last resort." The medic said. "It may not come to that." However, at the moment there was a yell and the sound of a scuffle. The two medics that had been talking to Connor came over to the doorway.

"He's having none of it." one said.

Lester looked at Abby. "Let me try something first, please." she pleaded. "Maybe he'll listen to me. If I can't persuade him to go, then I'll... I'll consider our options." The medics nodded, and Abby slowly made her way towards the bench where Connor was sitting.

"Abby! Where have you been? What are they doing to me?" Connor sobbed as soon as he saw her. She knelt on the floor, facing him and holding both his hands. "They want me to go to hospital, Abby! Tell them I can go home with you – you can look after me. We did alright in the Cretaceous didn't we?"

"We did, Connor. But this time, I think you should go to the hospital with those men. They want to help you. We all want to help you." She looked into Connor's eyes and saw just how scared and vulnerable he was.

"I can't go there, Abby. They took my mum into hospital to help her, and she's never coming out. I don't want to be like her!" Connor began to sob hard, and Abby wrapped her arms around him, stroking his hair and rocking him gently.

"It's OK, Connor. You're not like her. What she has can't be cured, she isn't going to get better. But you can. You just need to be willing to let the doctors look after you." she said.

"I'm scared."

Abby sat up and took a deep breath. She was on the verge of breaking down herself, but she knew she had to stay strong. "Conn. Do you trust me?" He nodded slowly. "Would I let anything bad happen to you?" he shook his head. "Then listen to me. Go with these medics now, they're going to look after you tonight, and then tomorrow a specialist is going to come and see you and decide the best way to deal with your problem."

Connor wiped his face. "Do you really think I should go with them?"

"I do, yes."

Connor stood up and called to the medics. "OK. I'll go."

The medics came over to him. "Good decision, mate. Come on." the older one of the three said, guiding Connor towards the door.

"Wait!" Connor said suddenly, turning back towards Abby. "I love you. Promise me you'll always be there?"

"Always, Connor. Didn't I promise you that when we were in the Cretaceous? I love you too." She swallowed back her tears. "Now go, the sooner you get into hospital, the sooner you can start to get better."

She watched Connor walk down the corridor with the medics, followed by Lester. As they disappeared around the corner, she finally broke down. She dropped to her knees and began to cry.

-o-

Abby had turned down Jess's offer of staying with her overnight, but she couldn't face going home to the flat on her own either. She'd shut herself in her lab since Connor had been taken away and tried to focus on the project she was in the middle of. She'd been growing some seeds that Connor had found in the bottom of his bag when they came back from the Cretaceous. They were like sunflower seeds, and they had formed a major staple in their diet. Looking at the plants now was like seeing an old friend and was almost a comfort.

The ARC was pretty quiet, the only people still there were the night security staff and a couple of the techies who were trying to repair some of the damage Connor had caused. She didn't envy them; some of that equipment had taken Connor months to build.

There was a knock on the door and it opened. Becker put his head round. "I was just checking all the offices were locked up and saw your light on. OK if I come in?" he smiled awkwardly. Abby nodded and Becker walked in, looking around him. "Nice place you have here."

"Thanks. I like it."

There was an awkward silence. Abby had never really sat down and chatted to Becker before; she considered him too trigger happy for her liking at times. She knew he was just doing his job and trying to protect them, but sometimes she wished he'd think a bit more.

"He'll be OK, you know." Becker finally said.

"I know. It's just that ... Connor and I have always looked out for each other. We haven't had to rely on anyone else before. I thought we could deal with this together." Abby blinked away tears. She didn't want Becker to see her crying.

"You did the right thing, Abby. There comes a time when you have to accept help from someone else. It's not a sign of weakness; it's actually a strength."

"Then why don't I feel strong?" Abby said.

"You're one of the strongest people I know. I have the deepest respect for you and Connor, surviving all that time the way you did. We all feared the worst for you." Becker smiled. "Ah, before I forget..." he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a clear plastic bag containing the items he had taken from Connor, his watch, compass, mobile phone, wallet, scarf and the ring he wore on a cord around his neck. "You probably should be the one to look after these."

Abby pulled out the ring and squeezed it in the palm of her hand, closing her eyes briefly. "This means a lot to Connor, it was his father's. He'll be lost without it." She put it around her own neck; if she couldn't be with Connor tonight then at least she could have a part of him close to her.

"Come on." Becker said, suddenly standing up and holding out his hand. "You can't stay here all night. Let me buy you a drink or something, you look like you need a change of scene for a little while."

Abby couldn't remember the last time she'd been out somewhere with someone other than Connor. Becker was right; she did need a change of scene. "I'd like that. Thank you." she said.

"Good. Give me a few minutes to change out of this gear. I'll meet you out front." He smiled and disappeared off towards the men's locker room. Abby sighed. Maybe Becker wasn't so bad after all.

-o-

An hour later, Abby was sat in a quiet corner of the pub with Becker. He was trying to keep her mind off things for a while; making jokes and chattering on about meaningless things. She just listened mostly; feeling a little awkward and guilty that she was here having a good time whilst Connor was alone and probably scared in the hospital.

There was a pause as Becker drank the last of his pint. Abby stood up. "I think the next one's on me. I owe you one for ... for being a friend when I needed one." She smiled weakly.

"There's really no need. It's the least I could do. I know we don't always see eye to eye, but I missed the pair of you whilst you were gone and I hate seeing you both hurting so much." Abby thought she could be mistaken, but Becker had actually blushed as he spoke.

"I'll get those drinks in." She said quietly, swallowing back her emotions. She stood at the bar waiting for her order, looking at Becker. What had he gone through whilst they were away? She knew Sarah had struggled to cope and eventually left to go back to her old job at the museum. She took the drinks over and sat down again.

"If you didn't like seeing Connor and I hurting, why did you tell Lester you thought he was beating me?" she said. It was something that had bothered her all day.

"You can't blame me, Abby. He's been acting weird for weeks and you've been miserable. Then he turns up at work with a massive bruise on his hand, and you arrive with a bruised and cut forehead. I already had my suspicions that Connor was ill, and that confirmed it. He did hit you didn't he?"

Abby shook her head. "No. He lost his temper and I tried to take his knife off him. He lashed out and I stumbled." She paused and then took a deep breath. "I went through all that as a kid, there's no way I would let it happen to me again. But I'm glad you said something to Lester. I knew Connor needed help, but I didn't know who to turn to." Her eyes began to sting with tears and she could hear her voice faltering.

Becker took her hands and squeezed them. "You and Connor aren't alone now, you know. You could've come to any one of us."

"I'm just beginning to realise that." She said, and then found herself yawning. She was exhausted and now that she had finally allowed herself to relax, the lack of sleep was catching up on her. "I should go home. I think tomorrow could be a long day."

"Yeah. " Becker nodded as Abby stood up to leave. "Call me if there's anything I can do."

"I will. Thank you." She leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. For the second time that evening, Becker blushed.

-o-

Abby made her way to the hospital as early as she possibly could the following morning. She had actually slept better than she had done for several weeks and felt a renewed sense of positivity. There was a man stood at the bottom of Connor's bed when she arrived, flipping through the various charts on the clipboards attached to it.

"Hi." Abby said. The man turned to look at her. He was, at a guess, in his late thirties, with slightly receding mousy blonde hair. His shirt was undone at the neck.

"Who are you? Can I see your ID please?" he said.

"What? Hang on." She reached into her pocket and pulled out her wallet, flipped it open and showed the man her Home Office ID. "I'm Abby Maitland, Connor's girlfriend. Who are you?" She frowned.

"Sorry, it's just that Lester gave strict instructions that only authorised personnel could speak with Connor. I'm Doctor McClean, I'll be handling Connor's case." He held out his hand to shake Abby's.

She was immediately on the defensive – how dare Lester decide who could and couldn't speak to Connor! "How nice of Lester to allow me to speak to my boyfriend." she snarled. She sat on the edge of the bed, stroking Connor's face. He was sleeping, and looked incredibly peaceful. She kissed him softly on the lips and held his hand. "Morning, Conn." she whispered.

Dr. McClean coughed. "He'll be asleep for hours yet, they've got him pretty heavily sedated. I've asked them to reduce his dosage so that he isn't a zombie. It'll give us time to talk, I'm told you're the person I need to speak to for background on what happened to him."

Abby nodded. "I guess so. Do you think you can help him?"

"I hope so. Based on what Lester's told me; I would say we have a case of some kind of post traumatic stress disorder. His treatment is going to involve him revealing a lot of top secret information; I can understand Lester being cautious about who speaks to him. He has a lot to protect."

Abby smiled. "How much do you know? About what we do I mean?"

"Nothing. Perhaps you could fill me in on our way to your offices? I should formally introduce myself to Lester. There's nothing I can do here until Connor's awake."

Abby sighed as she led the way down the corridor towards the exit. Trust Lester to leave it up to her to explain everything. She had been right; it was going to be a very long day.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Not mine, no copyright intended**

**A/N: Its been a while since I started this fic, I was really into it and then found it a little too close for comfort and needed a little break. I've finally been able to draw it to some kind of conclusion - although there is no quick "fix it" for Connor's condition, so I hope I've managed to bring it some kind of satisfactory ending. I love comments and reviews, it makes the effort of writing feel more worthwhile :)**

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Sometimes Abby wished that she could tell people about what they did at the ARC; the look on Doctor McClean's face had been priceless. She was slightly concerned that he'd turn the car around and have her sectioned, but once they'd arrived at the ARC she could see him starting to believe her.

"I think that's the basics covered, but there's a whole lot more I can tell you." Abby said.

"I did think you were pulling my leg to begin with." Doctor McClean said. "But this place ... it seems a lot of effort to go to if this is just a cover for something else."

"I can assure you that this is not a cover." Lester said, holding out his hand to shake the doctor's. "Sir James Lester. I see Abby has already filled you in."

"She has indeed. I have to say this is rather a unique case. You did give me the impression that Connor and Abby had been involved in some kind of top secret military mission, or chemical weapons testing. That's what I usually deal with."

The two men disappeared down the corridor, deep in conversation. Abby watched them and a tiny smile flickered across her face. Doctor McClean had a slight Scottish lilt in his voice when he spoke, and he reminded her a little of Cutter. She hoped that Connor would see it too; maybe he would find it easier to open up to someone who was like the man he admired so much. She recalled how he'd gone to Cutter's grave the day after she'd hit her head.

She went about her usual routine; watering the plants in the lab, checking emails and then scanning the internet for "unusual sightings". After the events of yesterday, the ARC seemed surprisingly calm. Jess was overseeing the repairs to the equipment that Connor had smashed, and Abby watched for a few minutes. She blinked away a stray tear as she thought about what she'd had to do to stop Connor; her emotions shifting from confusion, to hurt, to anger and back again.

After about an hour, she made her way down into the main ARC area. It felt like everyone was watching her; feeling sorry for her – Poor Abby Maitland, the girl with a crazed mad man for a boyfriend. Jess caught her eye and smiled.

"Hey Abby. Have you seen Connor today? How is he?"

"He was still sleeping. They had to sedate him quite heavily." Abby replied. Jess nodded. "The doctor that's going to treat him is here talking to Lester. He seems nice."

"Ah, I wondered who that guy was. Lester called Becker in a few minutes ago, said something about CCTV footage."

Abby wondered what on earth they would need CCTV footage for and glanced up at Lester's office. His door was closed, which meant that he was not to be disturbed under any circumstances. She watched everyone going about their work and felt like she was stranger. Is this how it would be from now on without Connor around?

"Abby, you OK? " Jess said, interrupting her thoughts. "You seem miles away."

"Just thinking about Connor, that's all." She sighed.

"That's understandable. It must be pretty hard on you too, all of this?"

"I love him. He's done and said so many hurtful things recently, but I know it's not him. He is a lovely guy really, Jess. You haven't seen the real Connor yet, please don't judge him on what you've seen so far." Abby said.

"I know you wouldn't be with him if he wasn't a good person, Abby." Jess said, placing her arm around Abby's shoulders. "Come on, you look exhausted. When did you last eat a decent meal?" Abby tried to think. Last night after she'd left Becker at the pub, she had just made herself some toast before going to bed. Jess was just about to suggest that they went out to get some breakfast when Dr McClean came out of Lester's office.

"The hospital just paged me. Connor's awake, and asking for you Abby."

-o-

Abby had half expected to find Connor sitting up in bed smiling, so she was shocked to find him curled up and his eyes red from crying. "Hey." She said, sitting on the bed beside him and leaning in to kiss his forehead.

"Where have you been?" he said angrily. "I keep telling them that I want to go home, but no-one will listen to me! You have to tell them I don't belong here, Abby."

"Connor, we talked about this yesterday. You're ill and you need professional help now." Abby squeezed his hand.

"I'm not ill!" he protested. "I'm just having trouble sleeping and its making me a bit irritable, that's all. If they can give me something to help me sleep, then I can sort myself out."

"That's where I come in. Is it OK to call you Connor? I'm Dr McClean, but most of my patients call me Sam." He sat next to Abby on the bed. "I work for the government, handling cases like yours. We're going to be spending a lot of time together, you'll be sick of the sight of me before too long!"

"Government?" Connor said.

"Yes, Lester's approved him. Dr McClean knows all about what we do at the ARC, so you're OK to talk to him about anything." Abby said. "I'll leave you two to go through your treatment, I'll be just down..."

"Actually, Abby, I think you should stay. This affects you too. I'd like you to know exactly what we're going to do." Sam said.

"Thank you, I appreciate that. I want to help as much as possible." Abby said.

"Well, the first priority is to get you feeling more like your old self and less like the world is against you. You have to remember that what you have is just the reaction of a normal human being to an abnormal situation, and that you're not crazy in any way. I've been talking to Abby and to Lester, and viewed some CCTV footage of your behaviour to assess your needs. I'm putting together a prescription of drugs to help you, something that will help you sleep, something to handle the paranoia and something to keep you calm. It'll need tweaking, and it might take us a couple of weeks to find the right combination, but we'll get there and have you feeling ready to face the real world again." Sam smiled at Connor and then at Abby.

"Then I can go home?" Connor asked.

"Yes. But that's only the beginning of your treatment. The drugs will help with the symptoms, but to completely cure you, we need to tackle the causes. It could be a very long haul, and potentially difficult for both of you, but we need to delve right into your head and find out what it is that's making you act so out of character."

Connor began to sob. "Thank you." He said.

"It's my job. Now, I'd like a quick word with Abby in private, and then I'll leave the two of you alone for a while whilst I go and sort out your medication with the nursing staff. I'll come and see you later and explain what each tablet is for." Sam stood up and indicated for Abby to follow him outside.

"I thought I should just warn you that you have a long journey ahead of you too. Connor may say things that hurt, and you have to be prepared for that. His problems could stem from something in his distant past, or it could be something more recent. It could be connected to your experiences trapped in the past, or even anxiety about your relationship. Were you two an item before you were trapped?"

"No, we were ... it's complicated. Oh god! This is all my fault isn't it?" Abby said.

"Please don't think that, Abby. But that's what I mean about this being difficult for you too. You will feel like you're to blame at times, and he's likely to use you as a verbal punching bag once he starts opening up. Do you have someone you can lean on for support too? You're going to need a friend other than Connor to get you through this." Sam smiled at her.

Abby thought about the conversation she had had with Becker – _"You and Connor aren't alone now, you know. You could have come to any of us_." He'd said. She had become so reliant on Connor during their year away that she had forgotten that she did have other people in her life that cared. Maybe, just maybe, she could bring herself to talk to Becker when things got tough. He'd known the real Connor, and that would make things easier. "Yes, I think I have someone I can talk to." She replied.

"Good, and you can always talk to me. If there's anything you're not sure about, please don't hesitate to call me." Sam handed Abby a small card with his mobile number on. "Now, you go and spend some time with him. I'll give you an hour's privacy before I come back and go through his medication with you both."

"Thank you. For everything." Abby said quietly, and watched as the doctor strode down the corridor. She felt very confident in him. She would have her Connor back soon.

-o-

As the weeks passed, Abby slowly saw Connor improving. He hated being in the hospital, but had become more accepting of his situation. His smile was returning, and he laughed; but there was still pain behind his eyes. A couple of times, she'd stayed overnight; falling asleep on his chest. He was sleeping much better now, only stirring a few times during the night. Being able to feel his warmth, and to breathe in that scent that was just Connor made her happy.

As the fifth week approached, Abby arrived at Connor's room as usual to find him still talking to Sam. "Oh, sorry. I'll go and get a coffee or something." She said, turning to leave.

"No, its OK Abby. Actually, Connor was just saying he feels ready to go home. What do you think?" Sam said, smiling.

"Really?" Abby said, feeling the smile on her face stretch almost from ear to ear. "That would be brilliant!"

"I'm so fed up in here now." Connor said.

"As long as it's OK with Abby, I'm happy for you to go home with her. But you must remember what we discussed!" Sam said.

Connor looked pleadingly at Abby with his big brown puppy dog eyes. "I want to come home with you. Please?" He knew exactly what that would do.

"I suppose it's alright." Abby said. "Is there anything I should know?" she turned to Sam.

"He is to take it easy. No work at all, in fact, if you can clear it with Lester, it might be an idea if you took a few days off. The pair of you should have a little fun."

"I thought you said I had to take it easy!" Connor grinned. He was already getting out of bed and hunting in his bedside cupboard for his jeans. Abby felt herself blush. She really liked the thought of being physical with him again, but she had concerns. She'd been reading up on the meds Connor was taking, and there were side effects. If he wasn't able to 'perform', she feared it might contribute to his anxieties. She had to let him know it didn't matter; just being together would be enough.

"I was thinking more along the lines of you going out for the day somewhere, just spending a bit of quality time together. You need to do the 'dating' thing, and start to talk to each other a bit more." Sam said. Abby noticed Connor look away and swallow nervously. He'd obviously said something during one of their therapy sessions. This was not going to be easy, trying not to take it too personally.


End file.
